Safe House.

Spotify? ‘Let’s Spend The Night Together’ by Rolling Stones. I’m a Beatles man, but I can handle some Stones when need be.
LoveFilm? Three new DVDs arrived today. Disc 5 of 24 Season 1; some Jet Li movie called Warlords, no idea if it’s good or not; and, umm, uh, The Smurfs. Yeah. The Smurfs. Fuck you.
Amazon? Still reading David Copperfield. About three hundred pages to go.

*****

A lot of movies got released this weekend, but not really that many interesting ones. Rampart is probably the cream of the crop, but I’m seeing that on Monday, maybe. So for the sake of going to the cinema and feeding my habit, I arrived to watch Safe House. It’s the perfect example of a movie I had absolutely no expectations for, especially with the pretty ordinary trailer.

Here’s the story: Matt Weston (Ryan Reynolds) is a young CIA agent; his job is to look after a safe house and, right now, his ‘guest’ is notorious fugitive and former CIA agent Tobin Frost (Denzel Washington). But when the safe house is attacked, Weston ends up on the run with Frost. A lot of people want Frost dead, and it’s up to the inexperienced Weston to make sure Frost stays alive.

Okay, so here’s the biggest problem with this film. It’s bloody predictable. Too, too predictable. In fact, if you pay close enough attention to the trailer, you’ll know exactly what happens. I mean, it’s an action thriller, so there are twists along the way, but you could see them coming from a mile away. It’s very much a textbook action thriller, with everything moving along the typical way, and what you expect to happen, happening.

That being said, I actually enjoyed it, and that surprised me. I was looking forward to being very disappointed, and I wasn’t. Yes, I wish it was more unpredictable, but writer David Guggenheim stuck pretty rigidly to a formula that does work very well.

The highlight of the film, as always it seems, was Denzel Washington. He plays that typical Denzel character, though, which is starting to get very old. You know the one – he’s a badass, a kickass, he’s suave and always has a wisecrack to make. He’s so fucking good at it though, you can’t help liking it. He’s like that here, and we’re always drawn to him. Ryan Reynolds was quite good too; I’m not really a fan, but he’s good in this. The chemistry between the two reminds me of Ethan Hawke and Denzel in Training Day; the films are quite similar, in some ways. There are other, really good actors in the movie too, who I think aren’t really used well. Brendan Gleeson, Vera Farmiga, Robert Patrick – none of them are really given a proper time to shine.

Action-wise, the film is good. You get the usual guns and chases, all fast-paced and directed competently. But what I really enjoyed about the movie was the fight scenes. There are a couple of pretty brutal fistfights, all very fun to experience. Reynolds showed he can handle the tough action, after the debacle that was The Green Lantern.

I think you could do a lot worse than seeing Safe House. Take away the predictability, and the fact that we’ve seen the Denzel Washington character so many times before, and you’re left with a good old-fashioned action thriller. This won’t win any Oscars, but it’s great if you fancy some popcorn and don’t wanna think too much.

*****

I wrote this with a hangover, so it took ages! But I got there in the end, and I think it wasn’t too bad. Playing right now is the Mark Ronson version of ‘Oh My God’, the one with Lily Allen. Underrated cover, in my humble opinion. I have a Twitter!!! Follow me on it - @writeofcentre – and I’ll get you sweeties.

I’m gonna go back to complaining about my headache and vowing never to drink again in my life. You behave now.

A Dangerous Method.

Spotify? ‘Wolf Pack’ by The Vaccines. I wasn’t overly amazed by the album, but this track did stand out.
LoveFilm? I have Gainsbourg sitting on my desk, which I’ll probably watch once I finish with this.
Amazon? Still working through David Copperfield. Because I only read when I travel (and sometimes at work) progress is slow sometimes. Oh, and the new Empire arrived!! Very much looking forward to sink my teeth into that bad boy.

*****

I’m really easily enticed by a movie, I won’t lie. I see that there’s this such-and-such big actor starring alongside this such-and-such big actor, and I’m hooked. I start to get this sort of craving for it. It has to be seen, I need to see it. Because not watching it could be the worst mistake of my life. So I change my life to accommodate cinema times. That’s what I did today. Work started at 5, so off I went to my local World o’ Cine to watch A Dangerous Method, a movie that enticed me. Got well fucked over for that.

On paper, it’s pretty impressive, based on the real-life relationship between Carl Jung (Michael Fassbender) and Sebastian Freud (Viggo Mortensen), two of the most important and respected psychiatrists in history. The film basically shows how psychoanalysis was created in the early twentieth century, as well as showing how the two guys – who respected each other massively – fell out. A big part of that was down to Sabina Spielrein (Keira Knightley), a patient and then mistress of Jung.

Like I say, very impressive on paper. On-screen? Bloody hell, I was bored. Some of you might know what Freud’s and Jung’s theories are, some might not, but this movie is basically a psychology lesson. And I hated that it was. Don’t get me wrong, I find the subject matter fascinating, but I didn’t want to be preached at. 75% of the movie is just people having very intelligent conversations. It’s great the first couple of times; then it just gets boring. Then, on top of that, there are these really cringe-inducing moments where one of them ‘predicts’ the future (“In 100 years, they’ll still disagree with us,” Freud says at one point), in some sort of wink to the audience. Annoying.

And the whole thing really pissed me off, because I wanted to love the film. Michael Fassbender! Viggo Mortensen! Keira Knightley! All three actors I really like (yes, even Keira), so I expected more. I will say this, though – they acted well. Very well, actually. There wasn’t a bad performance, really. The problem was that it was just boring in general.

Of the three, I’ll say that Knightley is the best, by a whisker. Perhaps I’m swayed by the fact that she has a Russian accent and has the most intense character (she does some freaky shit with her jaw), but I loved her the most. Vincent Cassel is in the film a bit too; not long. He’s good in it, but I had absolutely no idea what he was doing there. He moves the story along a bit, but I was confused by him.

Look, I didn’t like this film. But I think opinion on the movie will be divided. If you like your movies with a lot of talking and philosophising, you’ll have a blast. If you don’t mind the frustrating exposition, you’ll have a blast. I didn’t have a blast. Yes, I think I did learn a lot more about Freud and Jung, and would love to learn more. But I wanted to see a gripping movie, and I got Mastermind instead.

*****

Time to watch Gainsbourg now. Do me a favour and follow me on Twitter - @writeofcentre – and do me a bigger favour by following this blog. The bigger the favour, the bigger the place you’ll have in my heart. Fact. As I sign off, ‘Won’t Want For Love (Margaret In The Taiga)’ by The Decemberists starts to play. I fucking love this band.

Okay, bye! Love you!

The Woman In Black.

Spotify? ‘Velociraptor!’ by Kasabian. Album has the same name too, and it’s bloody good. Listen to it!
LoveFilm? Right now, I have The Green Hornet and Gainsbourg sitting on my desk (one of which I’ll watch tonight). Oh, and Disc 4 of 24 Season 1. The day’s almost over!!
Amazon? Just getting to halfway through Dickens’ David Copperfield. It’s an epic so far, really enjoying it.


*****

Dunno if you’ve seen the theatrical version of this; I have. Reviewed it actually, funnily enough, and I remember really enjoying it. It’s not easy to depict proper horror on stage, but the play does it brilliantly well. It’s genuinely scary and, with only two actors and a fake dog, that’s pretty impressive. We’re not here to talk about the play though, obviously, but it’s relevant in a way. Everyone goes on about book-to-film adaptations and how films always tend to butcher a perfectly a good novel, and this is somewhat similar.

The film is about a lawyer called Arthur Kipps (played by Harry Potter), who is still mourning for the wife he lost during childbirth. Kipps is sent to Eel Marsh House in North East England, to sort out the papers of a woman who has recently died. Easy enough, except none of the locals want him there and make it very clear they don’t want him there. Oh, and there’s a woman. And she’s dressed in black. And she’s not very nice.

Up until about two weeks ago, I had absolutely no idea that The Woman In Black was actually a novel written in the 80s. For me, it’s always just been the play, and so any comparison with the film I make, it’ll be with the play, not the novel. And here’s the first comparison: the film is just not scary enough.

This is the best way to break it down – the movie is about 90 minutes long. The first sixty minutes are solid, entertaining and scary. The last thirty minutes are boring and disappointing. And that’s sad because the movie had been doing so well up until that last third. Really underwhelming. See, the problem is that the movie was written so that there was a satisfying ending. To send the audience home happy, apparently, but that was a mistake. Now I like the writer, Jane Goldman (Mrs Jonathan Ross!). She co-wrote Kick-Ass and X-Men: First Class, both good films, so she’s talented, for sure. But she fucked it up at the end here. There’s a nice little twist at the very end, but it wasn’t enough.

Let’s talk about the first sixty minutes, quickly. I really enjoyed them. We were in a packed cinema, which was fun, especially during all the scary bits. The film is very chilling in that first hour, especially a roughly twenty-minute sequence where Harry Potter is alone in the house. The fear and the tension builds minute-by-minute, and every sound, every movement, gives you a bit of a jolt. Harry P- okay, I’ll stop calling him that now, but I found it funny. Daniel Radcliffe was very good, I thought. People complained that he looked too young for the part, but I think him looking young worked because we felt more worried for him. If there’s one thing he learnt well at Hogwarts, it was how to look scared. And he’s scared a lot in this, and never smiles, and I liked the performance. I’m sure I’ve seen Ciaran Hinds (who plays Kipps’ friend, Daily) act before, but I don’t remember. So as a sort of intro to him, I thought he was very good. The rest of the cast was just a lot of people looking scared and suspicious, but they did it well enough; and of course, the Woman herself, who screamed a lot.

In the end, though, a good story is spoiled by attempts to make it ‘cinematic’. The scene where Kipps confronts the Woman at the end, for examples, should have been fucking scary; instead, the scene lasted about two minutes, and involved a lot of screaming. Not good. I don’t know what the book’s like, or how it ends, but the play is great. And it ends well, ambiguously. Okay, yeah, the film ends ambiguously too, in some ways, but not in the good kind of the way. The disappointing way.

If you want my honest opinion, I’d say go and see it because there’s enough there for you to enjoy; and I bet that if you haven’t seen the play, you’ll like the movie much more. Good performances…scary scenes…a plainly dressed woman who screams a lot…you could do much worse. You’ll enjoy the first hour, at the very least.


*****  I’m not really sure what movie I’m gonna put on to watch tonight. I think Gainsbourg is subtitled, and I’m not really in a subtitles mood right now. Green Hornet it is then, I guess. Playing right now is ‘Epilogue’ by The Antlers. Not long before I see them live!

You know the drill by now, I hope. Follow me on Twitter - @writeofcentre – and Facebook. Follow this blog. And follow my life, why not?

The Descendants.

Spotify? ‘The Man Who Can’t Be Moved’ by The Script. Textbook pop band, but catchy and not bad for a listen.
LoveFilm? The Expendables will be arriving in the post tomorrow morning. About time I got a stiff injection of testosterone.
Amazon? I’m almost halfway through David Copperfield, and it’s fantastic so far. I’ll start to tackle The Chronicles Of Narnia next, but that’s a week or two away yet.

*****

It’s taken me a while to go and see The Descendants. Other stuff got in the way, other movies. I really wanted to make sure I saw it though, seeing as George Clooney is being tipped as shoe-in for the Best Actor Oscar. I needed to see it and judge it for myself. Was it all really worth the hype? Is Clooney really Oscar-winning good?

Oh, the story first. So George Clooney is middle-aged Matt King living in Hawaii, where his wife has slipped into a coma after a speedboat accident. He has to look after his two daughters alone, both unruly in their own ways, whilst also managing the multi-million-dollar sale of his family’s land. Then he finds out that his wife had been having an affair, and Matt now has to re-evaluate his priorities, whilst trying to cope with the idea of loss and inevitability of death.


I’ve gotta tell you, this is quite an interesting film. Usually, you know pretty quickly whether you like a film or not. You can see the brilliance (or shoddiness) of a movie immediately; but The Descendants sort of sneaks up on you. I sat there watching it, fully engaged, but I didn’t feel blown away. It was watchable and entertaining, that’s all. But as soon as it ended, I left with the feeling that I had seen something truly brilliant. I mean, there weren’t any sudden twists and turns, or extraordinary narrative shift – the story moves along at quite a quiet pace throughout – but it grew on me. In the climactic scenes, it’s very emotional, and I don’t think there was a dry eye in the cinema.

Obviously, a lot of that is because of Clooney. The movie is all built around him – he’s in every single scene, he is our eyes and ears, and he’s pretty damn good. But again, I go back to the whole thing about sneaking up on you. That’s what his performance does. Right from the very beginning, it’s a very restrained performance and, frankly, I wasn’t impressed at first. But as the story moves forward, and we see that restrained character progress, you learn to appreciate the quality of Clooney’s acting. It’s such an anti-Clooney role, too. There isn’t any of that charm or wit or slickness we tend to expect; this is a character unable to express himself properly, and Clooney captures that really well.


The rest of the cast is fantastic too. Shailene Woodley plays his oldest daughter Alexandra, and is really good. Apparently, she’s in some American teen show, but I’ve never seen her before. Great, though. So is ten-year old Amara Miller, who plays Scottie, the other daughter. I won’t tell you specifics, but the scene where she is getting talked to by a doctor is really heartbreaking, and she deserves props for it. Other characters pop up here and there, making memorable cameos, but you’re watching this movie for Clooney, really, and he delivers.

One thing that really stood out for me in the movie was the music. The only music in the movie is traditional Hawaiian stuff, and it’s gorgeous. The locations, too, are breathtaking. It’s as much an advertisement for Hawaii, as it is a movie. We can thank director Alexander Payne for that, obviously. He’s made other critically-acclaimed films like About Schmidt and Sideways (neither of which I’ve seen), and everyone says this is as good as they are. He doesn’t make films very often, but they’re successful films whenever he does.


Personally, I don’t think Clooney is favourite for the Oscar gong (Gary Oldman is, in my opinion), but I won’t be disappointed if he does win it. It’s a very brilliant, very un-George Clooney performance, and he does brilliantly well with it. The sign of a good movie is its ability to stir emotions, and a cinema full of teary-eyed people will vouch for that.

*****
And so ends another film review. As I leave you, ‘The Real Slim Shady’ by Eminem literally just starts to play. You can follow me - @writeofcentre – and perhaps follow my blog too, and tell all of your friends!

Okay, I’m sleepy now, so go away.

Martha Marcy Mae Marlene.

Spotify? ‘Life Is Life’ by Noah And The Whale. When I listen to this band, I imagine myself sitting in a park somewhere, staring up at the clouds. I’ll need to do that sometime.
LoveFilm? I actually have nothing right now! I know for sure that I’ll be getting the next 24 CD but, other than that, I’m completely in the dark. As long as none of the next DVDs contain Adam Sandler, I’ll be content.
Amazon? Lord Of The Flies done with, now I get started on David Copperfield. More accessible than other Dickens books language-wise, which is a relief. But bloody long, so expect a long wait before I bring news of new literature.

*****

Why has this movie got such a weird title, you ask? Good question. And conveniently, by answering your question, I can explain the story too:

Marcy Mae runs away from the weird hippy cult she was sucked into. Only, her name isn’t actually Marcy Mae; that was the name given to her by cult leader Patrick (we’ll get onto him in a bit). Her real name is Martha, which is what her sister and brother-in-law call her when they take her in. They don’t know what she’s been through, and she refuses to tell them anything. But moving from the past to the present is very difficult for Martha. As she’s haunted by memories of that bizarre world, she struggles to reconnect with the real world. And don’t worry about the Marlene bit, it’s not important.


I remember when I first heard about this movie, learning that the lead actor was none other than the younger sister of those talentless-but-probably-billionaires-so-I-can-fuck-off Olsen twins. Being the judgmental dick that I am, I thought: it’s an Olsen, I’m not convinced. But I heard more. I heard it was great. I heard she was great, she being Elizabeth Olsen. I heard it won awards. Just lots and lots of good things. So I had to see it for myself. And largely, I wasn’t disappointed. Well, to be honest, I was mostly blown away.

Martha Marcy Mae Marlene is a very, very good movie. There is a lot to like about it. I don’t think the movie was spectacular – it nearly was – but there’s more than enough to be enjoyed. From the very first minute of the film, I was gripped. Usually, films over ninety minutes start to drag on for me, but the two hour running time for this flew by. I could have sat there for another half an hour happily, I was that engrossed. Only problem is that, when it did finish, I was a bit underwhelmed. Throughout the movie, there is this slowly-building sense of dread that something bad is about to happen. And just as that bad thing happens, bam! Movie’s over. Literally. I was wanting to see more of that bad thing, and it didn’t happen. Don’t get me wrong, the ending is really cleverly handled, but I wanted even just five more minutes. Perhaps that was the feeling the director wanted me to have, dunno.


The performances were a mixed bag – there were two tremendous performances, and the rest was just…there. Elizabeth Olsen is one of those special two people. I mean, she is bloody brilliant. I might be wrong but I think this was her feature film debut, and her performance is unbelievably mature and really moving. At one end, her innocence and naivety as she’s brainwashed into the ways of the cult (which we see through flashbacks); and at the other end, her paranoia, detachment and fear once she’s run away; it’s all really well-expressed by Olsen. A lot of people are saying this is a ‘star is born’ performance from her, and I agree completely. The other standout performance is John Hawkes as Patrick. He is scarily believable as the enigmatic leader able to brainwash these fragile girls, making what he does to them all the more menacing. Everyone else seems to have quite stereotypical roles. Good acting, don’t get me wrong, but nothing as distinct as the two leads, which was surprising.


Technically, the film is perfect, it really is. The editing is superb – we move between the past and the present constantly, but it is seamless and never confusing. The camera is hardly ever still; it’s always moving slightly, jittering, adding to the paranoia, almost documentary-like. There’s also barely any music, so it’s very powerful when there is. There’s a bit in the film where Patrick plays a song on the guitar, and that small two-minute musical sequence embodies the entire film: amazingly beautiful on the surface and horrifically ugly underneath. Just like Patrick is; just like Martha is; just like the world is. Amazing song too.

And an amazing film, overall. I definitely recommend going to see it. It’s textbook indie filmmaking. Done and dusted in twenty days, very small budget, slightly off-kilter story. And above all, a great central performance. This is an Olsen to keep an eye on, take my word for it.

*****
Another one bites the dust. Just as I’m typing this, the sweet drones of Morrissey and ‘Everyday is Like Sunday’ start playing. I don’t need to tell you to listen to Morrissey, you should be doing it anyway!

You can follow me on that Twitter malarky - @writeofcentre – and you can find me on Facebook too. I’ll end my shameless self-promotion now. Buh-bye!

Shame.

Spotify? ‘Night Majestic’ by Au Revoir Simone. If you don’t know these girls, check them out. It borders somewhere between indie and folk, and it’s great.
LoveFilm? Still working (slowly) through 24. Animal House arrived today. Very intrigued by the film.
Amazon? Literally a handful of pages left of Lord Of The Flies. Then Mr Dickens’ finest takes over.

*****

A woman sits on the subway, minding her own business, when her eyes meet with the stranger sitting opposite. He is handsome, sexy, and he stares at her, smiling. Shyly, she smiles back. He looks at her – her eyes, her lips, her bare thighs, back at her eyes – still, staring. The smile slowly turns into a grimace. Still staring. She becomes uncomfortable, tries to ignore him. Still staring. The train begins to stop. Still staring. The doors open. Still staring. The woman gets up and quickly leaves the train. The man follows. She paces up the stairs and he paces after, fighting through the crowds of people to get to her. Somehow, she manages to get away. He pivots on the spot, searching desperately for her in the sea of faces. Gone. He looks up to the ceiling, defeated. She runs as fast as she can. She has survived.

Sound like a scene lifted from a horror movie? That’s exactly what Shame is. A horror movie.

I’d been wanting to see Shame for bloody ages now, but something always got in the way. But I finally got my chance this afternoon. I knew a few things already – that this was about Michael Fassbender playing a sex addict, and Carey Mulligan playing his sister. And that it was very intense, and quite depressing. But it was one other rumour that I wished was true. That Shame was a fantastic film. And, hey, the rumour was true!


When I watch a movie that I love, I tend to get all gushy. I’m guilty of it, I know, just read my review of The Artist. I’m gonna try not to get gushy, but it’s hard, because I loved it so much. My favourite movies are the ones that really challenge you as a viewer, and that’s what this film does. It’s not even the disturbing nature of some of the scenes, which are challenging, of course. It’s director Steve McQueen’s attempt to get us to feel sorry for this man, this sex-obsessed man who should be ridiculed, that fascinated me. How do you get sympathy from a man like that? Simple. You bring in the sister.

But let’s leave the sister for a minute, and talk about Michael Fassbender, who plays lead Brandon. I don’t think I’m exaggerating when I say he is one of the best actors working today. He’s fucking amazing. We see whole emotions pass through his face with the flicker of an eyelid, the slight tremble of his lips, as subtly as that. And we are drawn to him; we don’t like what he does, but we understand, in some weird twisted way. We think we should hate him; we want to help him instead. And there is one moment, when Brandon seems to receive genuine romantic affection, and he can’t cope. And you shake your head. That is a testament to the script, the direction and the performance. Even at his lowest, we’re there with him.


But one crucial element of the film helps the sex addict get some sympathy from us: that sister. Cissy, played by Carey Mulligan, arrives in the film and disrupts her brother’s private world. The intimacy of the relationship is deliberately ambiguous, but these two siblings love each other, and it’s both beautiful and heartbreaking. I think Fassbender won a few awards for this film but, really, Mulligan is the stronger performer here. You talk about magnetism: she oozes it. Cissy is just as broken and fucked up as Brandon is. Their relationship is the only real one either character has, and that need for each other is expertly portrayed by both actors, but Mulligan especially.

But like I say, this is a horror movie. It’s Jekyll turning into Hyde. It’s a man not wanting to embrace the evil inside him, but not strong enough to fight it. And as soon as he stops fighting, he becomes a beast. The sex scenes are not sexy, they are mechanical and painful. And things continue to get painful, until Brandon decides to take a stand. Whether the beast is eventually tamed, I’ll let you watch and judge for yourself. I will say that the climax is perhaps not as climactic as I would have liked, that final crescendo just wasn’t high enough, but I can see why McQueen chose to do it that way. Not what I’d done, but I’m not a successful Hollywood director (yet).


Okay, yes, I know, I gushed. I’m sorry. But this is a good film, with two brilliant performances, that keeps you thinking about it for a while. You also see a lot of Fassbender’s firetruck, and a little bit of Mulligan’s ladygarden. If that doesn’t make you want to go, nothing will!

*****
Having fulfilled my desire to discuss penises and vaginas on a blog, I can go to sleep a content man. The Kaiser Chiefs on my laptop now. ‘I Predict A Riot’. This song reminds me of living in Leeds, a lot. Unforgettable times. Okay, I’ve been chatting long enough. You know the drill. Follow me - @writeofcentre – and, if you want, follow my blog too. That’d be nice!

Right. Later. Bye. See ya. Go away.