LoveFilm? Well, I just finished watching The Goonies; and right now, as I type this, I’m watching a Denis Leary stand-up DVD called Lock & Load. I’m undecided on Leary yet.
Amazon? I’m literally two chapters away from finishing David Copperfield. About bloody time!
*****
The less said about this movie, the better, so I’ll just get on with it.
The story first: John Cusack is Edgar Allen Poe during the last few days of his life. A copycat killer has been committing murders taken straight out of the American writer’s stories, and now he’s taken Poe’s lover (Alice Eve) hostage too. With the help of Detective Fields (Luke Evans), Poe tries to find out who the killer is and, you know, stop the killings.
It’s not a bad story. Remotely interesting, I’d say. Nobody would be expecting an Oscar-winner, or something to change the way you view life. No. It sounds like your typical whodunnit mystery, complete with suspects, close shaves and occasional twist. It sounds like it, and that’s exactly what the film is. And it’s fucking boring. I really can’t explain to you just how bored I was. Usually, it pisses me off when people start using their brightly lit phones in the cinema; and today, I became one of those people. As shameful as it is to admit, it’s true.
The plot as a whole was dull, that’s the problem. All these people are getting murdered and I’m thinking, so what? Alice Eve gets kidnapped and, beyond the ‘wow, her boobs come out a lot’ fascination, I’m thinking, so what? And there are all these chases and gunfights, and there are police procedural moments. Again, so what? None of it was interesting enough.
But this is what really pissed me off: the eventual reveal of the killer. I’m not going to spoil anything, for those who might wanna watch it. But as soon as it happened, I sighed. Not a short sigh; a deep, ‘please let me hurt someone’ sort of sigh. The killer’s identity is out of left-field, I’ll give them that. But that is very, very faint praise. It made no sense, it didn’t shock me, it wasn’t satisfying. It wasn’t good.
The one decent thing about this movie, in my opinion, is John Cusack. Let me say first, though, that Cusack is well past his prime. He was very popular in the eighties and early nineties, and rightfully so. Some great films. But its 2012 now, and that isn’t fine anymore. He’s still a good actor, and he has some nice moments in this, but I just couldn’t invest. If you were expecting a performance to reignite his career, you won’t find it here. However, there are still hints of that comic timing and natural charm he always has. I wish there was more of it.
Also, this is the second film I’ve seen this year in which Brendan Gleeson is stupidly underused. First in Safe House, now this. The guy is such a good actor, but we don’t get to see very much of him. Luke Evans is the co-lead, more or less, and he’s alright. Nothing spectacular. Alice Eve is hot, and shows her cleavage a lot, so I’m not criticising her performance.
This is a boring film. If you’re a hardcore Poe fan, you might like it; might. I doubt it though. It’s not that there was anything awful about the film. It’s just boring. There just isn’t enough there to grip you and keep you entertained. A shame.
*****
Tonight is a bit of a DVD-fest. I got done with The Goonies; now I’m watching that stand-up DVD; and my intention is to watch Faster afterwards. Exactly how everyone wants to spend their Friday night.
Before you go, I’d like to redirect you to my
Twitter - @writeofcentre – where you can follow me and love me and do other
things to me. I’m easy like that. I also have Facebook, and all that shit. Do
it, you know you want to.
I’m still watching the Denis Leary DVD, so I’m
gonna get back to that now. He’s okay, I’m not blown away, to be honest. But
you don’t really care, so I’ll sign off. Smell you later.
